Open notebook with 'Self Care' written at the top of the page, with three numbered lines below, on a white surface with a pen nearby. Behind the notebook, there is a lit white candle, a cup of tea with a daisy flower floating in it, and a glass vase with daisies.

My Story

I was tired, overwhelmed, neglecting my health and my loved ones, but on the outside, I looked like I was winning at life.

As a GP with over 20 years of experience, I (like many of us) had worked with countless patients who were stressed, under pressure and dissatisfied. Many looked capable on the outside but were exhausted underneath. They were holding families together, managing high-responsibility roles and telling themselves they just needed to cope a little longer.

At the time, I didn’t recognise that I was doing the same.

For years, I worked hard, shouldered responsibility and did what was needed. I didn’t complain. I toed the line. I was dependable. Like many doctors, I said yes to more than I should have. More clinics. More patients. More admin. More responsibility for services. I told myself it was temporary. That I’d slow down soon.

I didn’t. I couldn’t.

Gradually, the strain began to show. I was more irritable at home. I struggled to switch off. I replayed conversations and decisions long after the day had ended. Even when I was technically coping, I felt permanently stretched. There was a constant sense of being behind, even when everything on paper suggested I was doing well.

What unsettled me most wasn’t the workload.

It was the realisation that I was no longer showing up as the person I wanted to be.

I was shorter with my daughter. Less patient. Mentally elsewhere even when I was physically present. I remember snapping over something trivial and feeling that sharp, sinking feeling afterwards. I remember lying awake at night thinking, “Is this it? Is this just how my life is now?”

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That question stayed with me.

After the birth of my second child, I reached a point where I couldn’t face going back to my salaried GP role. I didn’t hate medicine. But I hated what the pace was costing me and how it was affecting the people closest to me. I couldn’t see how the way I was working was sustainable.

So I left.

In 2021, I moved into a clinical leadership role in health tech while continuing some GP work. For the first time, I felt like I had made a deliberate decision rather than simply followed the expected path. I led multidisciplinary teams, worked at a systems level and saw healthcare from a different vantage point.

But changing roles didn’t resolve what was underneath.

What I began to see was that much of the pressure I felt wasn’t about a specific job. It was about how I thought about that job. How I viewed the burden of responsibility. How tightly my identity was tied to being competent, reliable and needed. I had built a life around being the calm, steady one.

I spent over two years in a coaching container, doing the work, and that was my turning point.

It helped me see clearly. It forced me to look at the automatic patterns I’d normalised - the reflexive yes, the guilt that followed boundary setting, the belief that being needed was the same as being valuable.

I realised I wasn’t stuck because of medicine.

I was stuck because I had never learned how to lead myself properly.

That was uncomfortable to admit.

It was also the beginning of real change.

Slowly, I began to make cleaner decisions. I stopped over-analysing every move. I set boundaries without weeks of internal backlash. I separated genuine responsibility from what i could let go of. I began to design my work around my life rather than squeezing life around work.

The changes that ensued were not dramatic but they were very deliberate and that felt great.

I became less reactive at home. I stopped carrying patients into my kitchen (metaphorically!) I was more present with my children. I made decisions without days of mental back-and-forth. I felt steadier. More grounded. More like myself again.

Eventually, I returned to medicine part-time and built portfolio roles aligned with my values. But the most important change wasn’t external. It was internal. I rebuilt how I think, decide and live.

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I’m grateful I found a way back to myself.

I share this because I know what it feels like to look capable while silently carrying too much. I know how easily pressure becomes the new normal. I know how identity can become so wrapped up in being a doctor that you forget to ask yourself what you actually want.

You don’t need to leave medicine to feel better. You don’t need to make dramatic changes.

But you do need space to think clearly and the skills to lead yourself properly.

That’s the work I now do with other doctors.

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Flat lay of a workspace with a white notepad, white pen, dried pampas grass, a white candle in a wooden holder, a beige container, and part of a laptop on a brown surface.

Book a discovery call with Dr Rosie Khan

In this 30-minute discovery call, we’ll have a confidential, non judgemental, straight talking conversation about what’s going on for you and what feels most pressing right now. You can bring anything that feels relevant - work, relationships, overthinking, decision fatigue, health issues, loss of direction. I’ll ask some focused questions to understand the real issue underneath and what you’d want to change over six weeks of coaching. By the end of the call, we’ll both have a clear sense of whether working together makes sense.

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